Not in the zone

I don’t know what is going on with me. But I don’t think I am in the zone. A bit unsettling it feels. It has been ages since I even paid attention to my feelings and emotions. Or did I decide to not care as much? I don’t know.

I went for a run today. I pushed my pace but it was humid!

Well, I was here (in my “lab”) all day. Maybe it was because a crappy piece of writing that I produced. My first ever cover letter. I knew it sucked and I couldn’t do much about it. I am not the kind of person who writes and then rewrites and reads. You get it I suppose. No flow. No sync.

All I need is some work to happen. Some progress to make sure there is a glint in my eye. And writing helps. Always. ☺

While on the go at Stanford

Before things would evaporate from my head(Mind you, it is pretty hot and humid here in Chennai), I have been bullied by a friend to pen down my experiences.

It was a very common sight to see people of all sizes and shapes(mostly fit) running, cycling, skateboarding, playing! Well you get it? They are into fitness. I saw a group of guys who were running super fast and they were conversing at that pace! A lot of girls were in those nice cute Nike shorts and I got 2 of those for myself too. I wish I to soon wear them here as well!

I ran there on the campus. A proper 60 minute run. It was cold(for me at least). Started at 8 pm. The terrain was fun with mild ups and downs all through. I started by taking right at every major turn till I was on the main road. My first stop was GSB! People in formals and black dresses everywhere. Typical I say. And then I came across the lake(which is dry now) road. Also saw the various engineering buildings etc where we used to go in the day for various sessions.

I gradually started drifting from the parts of the campus that I was familiar with and ventured into unknown territories. I reached a road which didn’t have lights though it was a main road! My cell phone flash light was on. The cyclists there need to have flash lights for their bicycles. I followed suit, though I was on my feet. I mostly used the bicycle lane as the footpath(where most of the runners were running and cruising!) was not suitable for running barefoot.

I saw the stem cell research lab(I think) and several other buildings. The sky looked like this huge dome with stars spilled everywhere. It was such a wonderful sight and I felt free. There I was! Running on some continent. Thousands of miles away from home. Thinking of all people at home(here, India). I was very inspired by a lot of things and thought about how we could make our place reach global standards.

Suddenly, a lady pulled her car aside and asked me if I was okay. I was startled. I thought she would shout at me or something. She was super sweet and asked if I was okay as I was running without my shoes! She also offered to drop me at GSB(I asked for directions). But then I didn’t want to stop running. I finally found the Hoover tower which meant I was close to my destination.☺

It was a bit weird to see cars stopping as soon as they saw pedestrians. Very very few 2-wheelers. Lot of people using their feet.

The fun run ended where I started. 57 minutes it was. So I just went elsewhere and came back in 3 minutes. Fine, it felt good to sprint in the end and complete it on a high note!

A wonderful sandwich was waiting for me. Also, I had to walk some 1 mile to reach the place where my team was working. Yes, it was super cold and I almost froze. Something else was also in store for me. Friends who wanted to hear about my trip. This post is dedicated to one such friend ☺

Hostile is the word

So as my Facebook wall and twitter posts say, I was at Stanford for a summit. Yes, one full week!

And needless to say, it has changed me. Made its mark in my otherwise normal (I doubt though) life. I will blog about various experiences in some days, I hope.

The most remarkable difference when I landed here was that I didn't feel about insti like I felt before. It didn't feel home. The people seemed a bit far. Something was amiss. It was very difficult to accept this whole change in scenario because insti was my second home. Home away from home.

I was generally telling my experience to people and in every conversation, I found myself telling others(and to myself) that I found the atmosphere over there very friendly. Smiling is such a small thing and the impact it has! :)
Be it the lady who helped me at the train station to get a ticket or the random guy who tried talking to me in Hindi(Oh yes, he was cute!). It felt very warm.

As I was confessing these to a friend, he uttered the word- Hostile. Hostile is the word. People tend to get worked up and express their frustration by being hostile.

If I could say something, it would be to smile and let it go! :) Being cheerful and active always helps and I just conducted an experiment to validate this claim. Challenge me if you wish to.

P.S- I am not generalizing. I am no one to judge. These are just my opinions. All said and done, I love my insti for what it has made me. For the friends and foes, for the memories, for the opportunities, for showing me what reality is.

For now

A perfect holiday would be away from the smog filled sky. Gazing at the stars. Eating ice cream. Butterscotch with chocolate. No wafer please. For now.
Travelling in a train in conversation with a stranger. Maybe a book or maybe a person. Or just me.
Watching the traffic from a high rise building. Void of thoughts. Or deeply contemplating about stuff. The yellow cheesy moon trapped between leafless trees.

An year or two ago, a perfect holiday was a semester without classes. That's my present. It feels nowhere close to a holiday. Times change and so does our sense of comfort. So does our sense of happiness and joy. And so does our sense of other materialistic pleasures.

Then what keeps us going? These dreams of perfect holidays? The lists of places that we wish to see? The food items that we want to taste? The things that we want to buy? Or just the pleasure of being with people we like, people we love and people we adore?

Duke TIP summer internship

The internship that I did after third year. (Summer 2012).
Well, this was published in our campus magazine, The Fifth Estate. I thought I should have this one on my blog as well, for various reasons. Thanks to the editors for making this concise and decent.

I spent my summer at the Infosys campus, Mysore. I was recruited by Educational Initiatives (EI) as a Teaching Assistant for the course ‘Design Challenges: Physics and Engineering’, for students of standard VIII. The program was conducted by Duke University. My work involved teaching design in theory, setting up practical experiments, executing them, conducting evening sessions, and ensuring all students were keeping pace with the teaching.
I applied for this internship after receiving an email via smail. My resume was short listed by EI and then confirmed by a professor. The next round was a telephonic interview with the HR representative of EI. The questions involved dealing with homesickness, academic pressure and bullying, among others. The experience of being a GCU Counselor significantly helped in the interview, and I was selected for the internship.
The Infosys campus is in the outskirts of Mysore. Apart from comfortable accommodation and good food, it offers a nice environment for academic pursuits. I had an instant bonding with my colleagues. The instructors were from USA. They were highly curious about the Indian education system. My students were an inquisitive and tech-forward lot. I could even sense a generation gap sometimes. Fortunately, they still looked up to their seniors. The cultural diversity in our team led to lots of enlightening interactions.
I taught them the basic design process, and Design for X, which they had to apply in all design projects. Our students were taught to brainstorm and critically analyse ideas. They then had to make relevant calculations and convince us (the professor and TA) about their designs. We also showed them interesting movies about engineering failures.
We designed experiments to measure the acceleration due to gravity, coefficient of restitution, BCD to seven segment display and logic gates. Among the big design projects were Popsicle bridges and catapults built with PVC pipes, which were a huge success. I went a step ahead to help them understand and love mathematics. I asked them to draw triangles and measure trigonometric ratios, and confirm their answers using calculators. They used this understanding to make simple inclinometers to measure the height of buildings.
In the evenings, we had problem-solving sessions pepped up with games to build their creativity. Music, arts, crafts, dance and sports were all focuses of the evening. “Uses of a toothbrush” was an exercise where the students came up with over 30 uses! Weekends were full of treasure hunts, lip-sync sessions, dances with a DJ, and sports fests.
The program was so eventful that time flew, and three weeks quickly passed. Everyone got emotional while bidding their goodbyes. The students expressed their happiness, saying they had fun and learnt a lot. I am proud of having made an impact on bright young minds, getting them enthusiastic about design. I will cherish this experience forever.

The original article can be found here- http://t5e.iitm.ac.in/2012/08/internship-stories-bindu-duke-tip/

In search of answers

Today I had to say things that I didn't mean. I had to do things which I didn't want to? Why?
Well, I don't know. I am still looking for answers that fit in. We find things that we look for.
I have to choose between a run and a trip with friends. I see myself with a book in my hand, hair flying out of the window as I search for things that I want to see.
Why do we make the choices that we make? What makes us do them?
I can't help but wonder how I landed up in certain situations.

Look at this image that I found on the internet today! The colours are so lovely. There is so much more to it than the colours that are attempting to blend and the zig zag words. So much more.

Read, reflect and maybe, run!

I read this article on Medium.
"Whatever problem you’re facing right now, somewhere in the history of mankind, someone probably much smarter than you has written about it. Save yourself the trouble and learn from those who have already figured it out."

Those words right there made me so happy. The reason? I thought about something like that an year or two back. And it felt good to see someone write about it.

I have been spending time reading and customizing my feeds. I have ignored books this month, but I will get back. Very soon. I find reading as a very interesting task. It really connects you to who you are and obviously connects you with some great minds.

Writing helps you in clearing your mind. Remember all those times when people motivated you? times when you made others happy? instances where you put some awesome arguments and philosophy? Jot them down, I say. You may or may not read them later in your life. But you know, just have them there. Reflect.
Also, it is a stress reliever. It is a way of emptying your head with those thoughts. Thoughts that keep bothering you. Thoughts that need attention and thoughts that are just there. Write them down and you will feel lighter.

Talking about feeling lighter, exercising is another way. What challenges you physically and makes you feel accomplished?
I have running and swimming on my plate. The running target for Feb is making me go out there and run. Be it a 2k or a 10k.

Let go?

Getting stressed, frustrated about work that didn't happen, random excuses and what not!

We all have those bouts of guilt. 

I was down with cold and didn't run or exercise for quite a while. It made me mad at myself. I was being very unproductive. All other work was getting affected. Thanks to the negative aura that I was generating. 

In these situations there are few things that can be done-

1. Get out and get your work done.

2. Put peace and accept the current situation.

3. There are more "temporary" fixes which we all do. 

Options 1 and 2 seem to have their own advantages(and disadvantages). See what works best for you. Realising that you are in this situation itself is a big deal. More than half of the problem is solved. Just then and there. Why? Your mind starts working and tries to reach the state of comfort.

My mind told me to just accept what is going on and to go with the flow. Maybe it is also because of the abundant free time. 

Talking of free time, I have a couple of hobby "projects". No deadlines. I am sketching/doodling. I have some small targets on the running front.
But deep down, I know, something is missing and I am looking out for it.